It's alive... It's ALIVE!!!

I am not saying that marriage, almost fifteen years of it and all wonderful, nor am I saying that 2 daughters, again, all wonderful... I am not saying that this equation of marriage and children equal the departure of man-dome.

But I am saying that this equation re-arranges the pecking order of priorities and places the need to maintain the things necessary to feel mannish into the junk drawer of life. You rarely go there and when you do, you shuffle things around and then leave frustrated because you could not find what it was you were looking for.

So is this experiment of mine simply a spring cleaning of the junk drawer? Am I using this desire to be able to bench press 400 pounds as an excuse to be able to say I am working on something manly? Because I believe I have lost the majority of myself in this drawer?

I am surrounded by women and I believe that I was slowly turning into a woman. Do not laugh. I truly believe that I was morphing not only into a misshapen Dr. Seuss character, but I was also becoming a woman.

So yes, this need to bench press 400 pounds is a life-ring thrown deep into my soul. Into my internal bottom drawer where all the things you have lost can never be found. I am lighting the flare. I write this with excitement because what I originally started as almost a joke, has become something very deep to me. I have found that little bit of myself that was lost. I have realized a healing process. A magical elixir flashlight that shines brightly into the drawer and exposes the shivering, huddled mass that was my manhood.

While yes, I did just recently build a Barbie condominium out of an old bookshelf for my daughters, and yes I do love Project Runway and flipping through Elle magazine and quietly, inwardly judging the outfits, this goal of mine has taken on a new life and I have found my manhood again. In the drawer. In the back. In a fetal position looking hungry and angry at me. I begin a wicked laugh and look to the sky........

"It's alive.... Oh yes, IT'S ALIVE!!!!!!!"

Yesterday I benched 265 pound in my cold laboratory. 3 full manly, growling presses at 265 pounds baby.

Welcome back man.

These dang arms....How arm length plays a role in bench pressing.

I am 6'4".
My wingspan is 6'5".

I think it is important to factor this in when attempting to increase your bench press.
It is a logistical fact that men with a shorter arm span are able to bench press more weight than men with longer arm spans. With a shorter travel distance this is an obvious.

Does this mean that a man who is 5'10" tall will always be able to bench press more than a man who is 6'4" tall assuming that the effort between the two is equal?

Mathematically, yes. Many forums and posts claim that a man with longer arms should widen his grip on the bar and by doing so, decreases the travel distance of the weight from chest to full extension. This is not a fix though. By widening your grip, your are decreasing your vertical leverage. Therefore decreasing your ability to press as much weight as a man with a shorter arm span with a closer grip who has a shorter distance to travel when pressing.

Livestrong claims this: If you have long arms, you will push the weight of the barbell across a greater distance. Your elbows will drop below your body at the start of the bench press. This position moves your upper arm lower than a parallel position so the muscles of your triceps, shoulders and back are not used as efficiently to move the barbell.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/458669-is-a-bench-press-affected-by-arm-length/#ixzz2IphLGaNO

 

So true. All of my life I have been disgruntled at the lack of my ability to progress and increase my bench press when compared to those around me who are not as tall. I had a buddy when I was in the Coast Guard who was 5 inches shorter than me and we worked out together almost daily on the ship. His bench skyrocketed beyond mine to the point of becoming a distraction when benching together because of having to change weight configuration with each switch.

 

The Oak, Arnold, who is 6'2"; says because of his height and wingspan, of all his body parts, it took him the most effort to get himself to a 400 pound bench press.

 

Should I find discouragement in this? No way. Although I am taller than Arnold, older than Arnold and missing probably a few key genetic markers, I am all in on this task.

One forum posting said this: It sounds strange but it is very true. If you see a stacked tall dude, give him some props, he's worked his ass off to get that way! http://forum.bodybuilding.com/showthread.php?t=3157&page=1

 

So in conclusion. Having long arms suck when attempting to bench press 400 pounds. But are great when trying to reach that can of tomato soup way back in the cupboard. Or for scratching your knees.

You gonna finish that?

Me so hungry.
All the time.

I now see why I have never seen to many 6 packs on men who can bench immense amounts of weight. It requires an outrageous amount of calories to keep a body going that is having to repair itself constantly.

Again, do not try and find a solid answer online for the amount of calories you should eat when strength training. You will find ten thousand times ten thousand answers.

When you are tearing your body apart via excessive weights, and are having to deal with a body that is crying for calories and fuel to provide repair to damaged muscle........

Listen to it.

I am hungry all the time and I eat a lot. I have been feeling so great lately though. Vitamin D regimen, increasing strength. Walking a little taller and look forward to every trip to the laboratory.

I am currently benching to failure 215 pounds. Today I did it 6 times throughout the day. The benefit of having your smith machine right inside of your garage.

Must go...... every cell in my body is begging for a burrito. I must obey.

Drumroll please.......

The envelope arrived 4 days ago. It was the results from my blood work. All looked good, except, my Vitamin D levels were VERY low. So instructions were handwritten by the Doctor to start a Vitamin D regimen of 2000 IU per day.

So I did start. I feel amazingly better.

I am yelling to the mountaintops that any man or woman experiencing fatigue, sleeplessness, irritability and depression as well as trouble losing weight and muscle pain, PLEASE have testing done to determine your levels.

 From earlier posts you may have read that I was sure I was a victim of Low Testosterone. Apparently my T levels are above average.

So I write this with a new zest knowing that I have been diagnosed and given a great life changing solution. Who knew it could be as simple as Vitamin D.

"Oh rest ye merry pectorals, to grow you must restore..." How long does one have to wait before benching again!?!?!?!

A blessing and a curse. Within 35 seconds I could have plated weights and be benching to my hearts desire. It is so close. Right in the garage. Many times I have placed my hand on the door leading to the garage and paused, dramatic, like in the soap operas. I musn't.

It's hard not to. Every cell in me is crying to enter the lab.... but to what end? At least when I was actually having to drive to the gym I could easily put it off. Too far. Other stuff to do. Don't really feel like having to deal with the cutouts who stand, holding up the equipment, checking out the other equipment.

This guy is in every gym.

"ARE YOU DONE USING THAT!?!?"
"No man, have 2 more sets. Wanna work in with me?"
"Yeah, no."

Almost all of the information I find online, claim you should wait 5-7 days between heavy bench presses.

WHAT THE? Do I have to change my routine? Am I on the wrong track with this pyramiding 5 day a week plan? I am starting to feel I am. If I am not giving my chest full repair time, I am wasting my time. And yours.

So, over the next day, I am going to create a routine that will allow ultimate rest and repair for each body part I am destroying. Because I am completely deliriously serious about reaching a 400 pound bench press, I need to start doing my homework and being smart about this.

Ugh.

The beauty of failure.

It hurts. It burns. My hands and arms are shaky. My stomach is upset and my vision has gone a little blurry.

This is the beauty of failure. Or a heart attack.

Chilly. Secluded. Perfect.

It truly is a beautiful thing when your body feels like it is shutting down because you have done so many reps of presses but yet you stand up shake it off and lay back down for another round until every cell in your body is depleted.

The beauty of bench pressing to failure.
The picture here was taken about 10 minutes before writing this blurb. I am on my 6th set. In my laboratory. My nirvana.

I realize I am only benching 110 pounds. I realize that I am using a smith machine. You, however, must realize that in this picture I have pushed my upper body to defeat. My first set was an easy 25 reps. Stand up, turn on the music.... Gotye is blaring. Quickly back down for a second set, 18 without rest but it is starting to burn. 3rd set. 4th set. 5th set. Less than 45 seconds between them.

6th set.

Shaky. The first 2 presses feel like feathers, but then the lactic acid remaining in my muscles rebel and I have nothing left. 2 more. I yell loudly. Really no way to not yell when all is spent. 'You ok dad?' calls one of my daughters. 'Yes! Fine!'

Latch it down. 'No you didn't have to stoop so low! Have your friends collect your records and then change your number....' Gotye finishes as I power the radio off. Never leave weights barred so I grudgingly rack the plates with trembling gloved hands.

Lights off. The lab is closed for the evening.

Failure is truly a most beautiful thing.

The Ground Breakers

Let me start off by saying I do not think that there are many other things that someone can truly earn like bench pressing a lot of weight. When you have reached that amount of weight you set out to bench press, 400 pounds in my case, you will have truly earned it on a very personally sacrificial level. The hours of muscle destruction and regrowth along with the patience and pain involved.
It takes a stringent inner drive and when you reach your goal, you will be able to tell yourself that you truly earned it.

The first form of bench pressing as we know today started in the 1930's. It was to be a true test of one's strength minus the ability of a participant to cheat by swinging the body as you can in curls. Just laying on a flat bench and summoning all your strength to push this weight away!

These men and women were ground breakers!  

So as I work towards my goal, I will think often of the trend setters that first decided to throw a bunch of weight on a bar and place it in a position where it could kill them. Truly wonderful!

Pssst.... hey Jon. Come visit me.

In your mind you have one plan. How hard to actually stick to that plan, especially when your Smith machine is calling for you. I wanted to simply do a 5 day pyramid routine. Last week was my first week and I did 90 pound bench presses each day until failure. Except for one when I was so sore from the previous days I felt like vomiting.

I took Friday the 11th of January '13 off because I was unable to move really. BUT, by Saturday the 12th (Sat and Sun were going to be off days), (Oh, and happy birthday brother...) my Total Sports America 2000 Smith machine was eerily whispering my name throughout the house. It called for me to visit it.

To visit the laboratory. Spokane is about 12 degrees right now so the laboratory is like a meat locker. Bitter cold brings its own set of quiet and when I am in the lab every little slide, creak and moan of the Smith machine and myself is amplified. Again, I love it!

So on Saturday I did visit the lab. I felt so strong. I placed 2 45's and 2 25's on the bar and easily pressed out 10. What the hell? Then I replaced the 25's with 35's and pressed out another 8. The 7th and 8th were a fart inducing struggle.

I felt guilty for doing it. Like falling off the wagon. I felt so good though. I felt so strong. I could have done more but would be betraying my own plan. Now it seems almost childish to have a plan of only benching 10 more pounds than last week for a grand total of 100 pounds to failure each day. Do I up the ante or do I continue my slow and steady growth pattern?

Will slow and steady, the 5 day pyramiding plan thwart that plateau so many reach? Today is Sunday and I have this nagging inside me to visit the lab again and try for as much weight as possible but I will not. I know I need to let my muscles repair. Such a tedious process.

Like watching grass grow.

No thank you very much.

I wonder how many times Arnold felt like I do as I write this. Did he feel like, somewhere in the middle of the night, a very little man or woman climbed into his body and cut about an inch from each muscle and tied them back together.

Like this little muscle seamstress decided to hem everything? Did Arnold have a muscle seamstress that would occasionally make his life very unsettling? I imagine he did. There is NO WAY he got looking like this picture without a visit from the seamstress.

I woke up this morning and went to un-flop the covers and that is when I realized the outcome of my last 2 days of bench pressing.

My triceps have been replaced with chunks of burning metal. My shoulders complained at the slightest movement. My chest is amazingly tender to the touch, and for some reason my big toes hurt.

So I stood up and moved around. Slow motion like the Matrix. Trying to loosen things. But no. This is actually a thing. It is called Delayed Onset of Muscle Soreness (DOMS). While there are ways to reduce this, think Ibuprofen, hot pads, cold pads, vitamin C; there is nothing to truly correct this affliction except........ time and the craziness in the next paragraph.........

One thing is apparently agreed upon, almost all of the articles I found from numerous respected sites and resources claim the 'hair of the dog that bit ya' defense. It is important to get blood flowing back to the area of damage. The areas that have been ripped apart during lifting. This is best accomplished by working out again.

VERY LIGHTLY.

So I did. And %#$@%^#&^@$$@^#&#$#$@^@&&#$$%$#^@&.

I loved every minute of it.

Tomorrow is Friday the 11th of January 2013. I am excited to actually be on this journey to bench 400 pounds by the time I am 45 years old.

Will I give up? No thank you very much.

Into the lab I go.....

This is day 2. Bench presses have a meditative quality. There is something very personal and almost angrily intimate about doing a bench press. Just you and the weight. It looks to dominate you. You, in turn, look to dominate it. Weightlifting S&M.

I am still very confused about the path to take in ultimately bench pressing 400 pounds but I do know it starts with starting somewhere. I have decided a gradual, pyramiding, 5 day approach will be my first attempt. I flipped through the bodybuilding book with Arnold Schwarzenegger and found little inspiration. Nothing like I did when I read it when I was younger. I do not have access to all of the lifting paraphernalia as he did. I do not have Lou Ferrigno screaming at me in the background - so close to morphing into the hulk. Veins popping from everywhere. So many veins! I do not have perfect Swedish genetics. Not to mention that the workout plans in the book call for insanity and no life. So I continue forth alone. No Arnold.

My bar currently has 2-45 plates. I am looking at 90 pounds plus the bar which is not a true 45 pounds Olympic bar, rather a standard size bar with an Olympic sleeve over it. I figure it to be 35 pounds at the most. For a total of 125 pounds. This is very easy for me, but I am going to do 5 sets to failure each day for this first 5 days. I will rest on the weekends, and starting Monday the 14th, I will add 10 pounds to each side and continue this same pattern for that week. 5 sets to failure.

Yesterday I did 25 presses my first set, 20 my 2nd, 18 my third, 15 my fourth and then found strength to do 25 my last. It was painful. Everything burned. This is not a show of strength but of initial break-in. I am feeling it today. My chest is tender and my shoulders ache.

A good ache though. My body crying for more right?

This evening I will replicate yesterday even though I still do not know if it is a good idea to lift to fatigue on a body that is already sore. If you have thoughts on this, please let me know in the forum.

Adding in other body parts I believe is necessary so after each 5th set of bench presses, I will do one heavy set of.... shoulders for this week - back for next week - triceps on week 3 and so on.........

I love my lab. My dark garage. I love the sound the weights make when they clank together.
Am I weird?

Turn to 400 degrees.....

There is nothing stopping me now. I cannot complain about not having all the ingredients anymore. Today I found 300 pounds of weight from a retired teacher off of Little Spokane Drive. The bench I have is still iffy, but I am not going to let that stop me from getting started.

Speaking of getting started. Where does one begin when the goal is to be able to bench press 400 pounds? Do I simply start doing as many presses with as much weight as I can; Like a caveman? Or does this have to a methodical, logical, planned approach. Considering my advanced age, hair loss and possible low testosterone levels.

Speaking of low testosterone levels.... I did have my appointment with my female doctor today. The front desk lady asked what I was being seen for...... 'Um, just some questions about how I am feeling.'

The nurse, while taking my blood pressure asked what I was seeing the doc for, 'Um, just some questions about how I have been feeling.'

I do not know why I feel so secretive about my issue. The doctor was amazingly awesome. She talked over not only how low T could be the cause of my current Blah-ness, but discussed how it may well be other underlying issues as well and the full set of blood work I am going to have on Friday will reveal all. Like the ark of the covenant. I wonder if when she opens the results a bright light will emerge?

My TSA 2000 - Ready and waiting.

So back to my getting started. This is a picture of my Total Sports America 2000 with 90 pounds of weight applied. You'll notice how it is placed in a very dark and grungy part of the garage. Just like I want it. I will call this my laboratory. 

All of my life I have been a gym user. Lifting and pressing and lifting and curling.... Never really with any true tactic other than to make myself look good with my shirt off. It occasionally worked and I did, at one point in my life, have a pretty cool physique. That, of course, is no longer the case. Please realize that my goal here is not to tone and define so when I remove my shirt women turn heads in awe, my goal is to methodically progress my ability to bench press more and more weight with a final outcome of 400 pounds.

I Googled many key terms, 'bench pressing a lot of weight', 'how to increase your bench press', 'how to bench press 400 pounds', 'Betty White'

I Googled Betty White because I think she is sexy.

Anyway, this returned about 500,000,000 different ways to improve your bench press.

So...... forget Google. I have an old book that I read from cover to cover when I was like 18. It is called 'Arnold's Bodybuilding for Men' and I think it is still considered the Bodybuilding Bible. It talks about super-setting, pressing to fatigue and it is still one of the few books that demand patience from someone trying to increase muscle mass and the ability to lift or bench more. I will be reading this over the next few days. 

You know what I need? I need Arnold's email address. Anyone have it?

Tomorrow I start. I do know that I need to take a couple of days of light/numerous reps. I need to awaken my muscle fibers. I need to let them know that something big is coming.

PS: Thanks to all who have contacted me and given encouragement and said nice things about this blog so far. I hope others will set a crazy goal and work as a community to achieve great things!

More Ingredients....

This is not going to be easy! Today I purchased a Weider adjustable bench from Walmart. Got it home and assembled it. It is frustratingly flimsy. It is nice in that it adjust incline, flat, decline etc - but states in the instructions that it should not be used for any weight lifting operations exceeding 300 pounds. This is user and weights total. So I would be able to safely press 40 pounds without exceeding the Weider limits. So if you are looking to do sit ups, or read a book, this is perfect. But if you are doing something amazingly amazing, like bench pressing 400 pounds - then this IS NOT the bench to use. 

One bump after another.

Then....

I just finished browsing Craigslist and voila! Some guy in the valley is selling basically his entire workout suite. He has a gym quality 1000 pound capacity adjustable bench, a 300 pound Olympic weight set and is asking 200 for both.

Just emailed him. It would be perfect. Haven't heard back. The pessimist in me says he will reply 'sold' or 'sorry man, that was a typo, the 2 was supposed to be a 5' **UPDATE** - I think I am going to be the proud owner of all the ingredients needed to start this journey by tomorrow!

We'll see. I will be writing about the science behind actually getting a body to develop into something that can achieve a 400 pound bench press in my next entry later tonight or tomorrow. Something I have been studying in great detail the past week. I have my Low T doctors appointment tomorrow. Maybe I will wait and write about all of it tomorrow after the appointment.

Little News...

I created a forum. Please become part of it. We can grow a community of like minded, crazy goal setting people and achieve crazy things together. It is added to the menu bar above if you are interested in joining. When you get to the forum page, you will need to register with my forum to be able to post in the forum. It only takes a second. Jon

Dick's

So last night I was browsing online for weights when I came across an ad from Dick's Sporting Goods in the Valley. $189 for 300 pounds of Olympic weights and a bench for $59.

I called.

"Yeah man, looking right at them. Awesome equipment." says the zealous salesman.
"So the price is right? $189 and $59, because I live in Mead and the drive is far and I want to make sure."
"Yup. $189 and $59"

So I hop in our mini van, drive the almost 30 miles and arrive. Almost skipping. The final ingredients are about to be acquired. But wait.....................

$225 and $89? What the EFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"Um, can you get me the salesman who works in this department, I spoke to him about 40 minutes ago, he said these prices were VERY different."

#R$@%%#^ Never mind. I do not feel like writing the rest of this because it makes me angry.
I did not get the final ingredients. Patience Jon. Patience Jon. Patience Jon.

So I got home and sat in a metal folding chair and did like 40 shoulder presses with a bar that had no weight.

The scary part is my shoulders are very sore today. Not a good sign.

Freaking yuck.

It's Friday here in Spokane. Freezing freaking cold out. My Total Sports America is in my garage. Just sitting there. I contacted 3 people yesterday who had weight benches and weight for sale but none would part with simply the weights and I have no where to place an extra bench so........Today is my last day for trying to purchase weight cheaply. If I can find nothing then I will be buying new. Ugh.

When I was younger, I worked out a lot and could do it often with great results in gaining strength. Every where I look now tell me this will not be the case at my age. How depressing.

I did some searching about bench pressing at 40 years of age or older and there were ALOT of words like - 'be cautious', 'go slowly', 'try golf', 'injury potential'...........

Seriously.

I looked closely at myself in the mirror this morning. Freaking yuck. EVERYTHING is sagging. It looks like I am melting. I don't know if any of you have ever done the following, but DO NOT: I then jumped up and down a little. I need to erase the image from my mind somehow. I wonder if my wife ever thinks the same thing when she sees my droopy body sagging across the floor; Freaking yuck.

I don't care if the words I had found were 'Causes Immediate death' or 'fatal'.

I am doing this.

Low T....

Well,
Today I am bummed. I have had no luck finding weights and a bench. I feel I will need to buy them new. 

Never mind that though. There is a bigger issue at hand. This task I am about to begin, bench pressing 400 pounds, requires a body that is able to do that. One that is willing to be torn down and repair correctly. I do not feel that I am that person right now. 

Last night I was watching TV when a commercial changed my whole thought process. It asked:
Mood swings? check
Fatigue? check
Weight gain in your belly? check
Hard time losing weight? check
Lowered libido? check                                             
Trouble sleeping? check check check
Losing your hair? OH MY #%#$@ check!!!!

I quickly went to http://www.isitlowt.com

I took the quiz and HELLO!!!!!!!!!

I definitely have LOW TESTOSTERONE!!!!!

Or I am dying.

Either way....... I immediately called my doctor and have an appointment this coming Monday for a quick and easy blood draw that will determine my testosterone values.

I need to make sure my body is prepared. Like baking a cake remember? Without the proper male fuel, I might as well attempt climbing Mt. Everest in flip flops.

I URGE any man who feels like I do to check your T. We do not have to feel like this!!!!!!! 
If anyone has experience with using testosterone therapy, PLEASE COMMENT!!! 
It could mean a lot to many men!!!

THIS IS AN INFORMATIVE VIDEO ABOUT LOW T

The Machine...

This is the Total Sports America 2000 machine I purchased off of Craigslist from a guy about 2 hours North of Spokane. I paid $185. It did not come with a bench OR any weights. After it was delivered, I was finally able to get it upright after ALOT of twisting, banging and cutting of drywall in my garage. 
How it was pictured on Craigslist:

Like baking a cake. I have to gather all of the ingredients. In my journey to bench press 400 pounds, this machine is my oven.

I will need more ingredients, like weights and a bench. 

Off to Craigslist I go because trying to buy weights from Sports Authority at $1 a pound is insane.

Even the bench was over $145.

Maybe, in this economy, this is a bad idea. Looking like a Dr. Seuss character may not be so bad.

What am I saying. Only 4 posts in and I am already trying to get out of this. I suck.

The starting point...

So I think it important to have a jump off point when trying to achieve something. It is vital to have base statistics from which to compare as a journey progresses. My goal is to be able to bench press 400 pounds by the time I reach the age of 45. 
The man below is benching 400 pounds....... Intimidating.

I can currently bench 200 pounds. 
Ugh.
So let's see where I am at. 
I have the weight rack which will allow me to start benching without a spotter. But I have no bench and no weights.

Weights are about $1 a pound.

Eventually I will have spent $400 on this task. But I will be able to bench press 400 %$$#@ pounds!!! I need your help. JOIN ME!!!!

My Wife's Reaction...

Just told my wife the plan. She says it’s not a good idea as I may end up permanently damaging something. Ugh. She says maybe I should take up pottery, or needlepoint. Yeah right. I will be posting a picture of the Total Sports America 2000 weight rack I just bought off craigslist for 180 bucks. The machine that will get me to my goal. It did not come with weights or a bench and after shopping around, I am realizing the real cost will be the weights.

The journey begins....

I am turning into a Dr. Seuss character. This must be stopped. I had a vision that I will reverse this morph and take back control of my body by setting a goal. I will bench press 400 pounds by the age of 45. I am now 41. Who would like to join me on this journey against giving up?